trial and error.
for years i never stopped and thought about what i really wanted out of a relationship or what i longed for in another. i’ve dated the sweetest of guys and the biggest douche bags.. a broad spectrum of loves that just failed over and over. i’ve never been completely content with another but i realized that the problem was in myself. i wasn’t happy with many aspects of my life and i was completely lost in this crazy ass world… but i have finally found myself. i know exactly who i am, what i believe, where i want to go and how i’m going to get there.
i know i’m not ready for a specific commitment. i’m 20 years old and need to live alone and experience that limitless freedom. if i just so happen to cross paths with that perfect person for me, of course i’ll add them to the equation, but i shall not become hopeful. regrets are only a thing of the past.
i find myself daydreaming about my match made in paradise. someone that can sing to me when i’m down and i’m able to get lost in their voice. someone who shares and tolerates my erratic taste in musical preference. i need someone whom i can impose my writings upon and they actually take complete interest in. i need someone who can catch and hold my attention; who can keep me on my toes.
excitement is a key ingredient and without it our relationship would be bland. spontaneous trips and events would happen monthly. a love of nature and animals is a passion we’d share and my family would be just as important as theirs. an involvement in spirituality is a quality i’d love immensely. but of all things, a calming factor to ease my soul is one thing i’ll always be searching for. a love for me to cherish.. i’ll be ever so patient.
my goal is to not settle until i find the one who proves true to my heart. i refuse to develop a relationship my mind knows will fail. no wishful thinking, no hopes to be raised only to fall just as fast. a promise to myself and to the one i’ll end up with.. i await your embrace; no other will distract.
til then, i’ll be lost in wonderland.
lacey renee walls.
